short pants romance

There comes a time when everyone, even Martha, has to go to the DMV.

No reason for this post, except that I love him.

We've watched several episodes of the show Mad Men, which despite a bunch of critical acclaim, neither of us are too crazy about, me personally because it's yet another one of these shows that's about a bunch of characters that suck, so why am I wasting my time on it? This is pretty much the reason why I generally despise most reality tv, except for the boring-but-nice shows like Little People, Big World. Pretty much the only good thing that has come out of the 45 minutes I've spent watching it is that the opening titles remind me a lot of Saul Bass. And then I was reminded of how much I love Saul Bass, and how I totally forgot about how I love him. Here are some nifty sites I've found that I recommend:


http://www.saulbass.tv/

I have this sudden urge to travel today. I think I desperately need a break from work, which I'll be getting in a few weeks when we go down the shore. But I'm getting a little antsy to shake off the dust of this one-horse town and see some interesting sights. Flights to Seattle are only like $250, I was tempted to book one on the spur of the moment. Then I started to get excited about our tentative idea to go on a road trip in the fall. Greg was thinking Michigan to visit Adil and then possibly onto Chicago, which could be cool. My vote was for a foliage tour of New England, maybe up to Vermont and then Maine, neither of which I've ever been to. We're thinking it will be a camping trip so we can put our tent to good use and bring Porter along, who, lucky for us, has less of a problem with long car rides than his mom and dad do.

Sitting in the scorching sun in my hot office, some hiking in a crisp red, orange and yellow forest sounds pretty darn amazing at the moment.

In the same vein as that old adage "youth is wasted on the young", I think school is wasted on students. As I get older, I really regret not taking school more seriously. I mean, I did okay, but I really never put much effort into studying in high school or college, which is probably why I wound up at Rutgers instead of Columbia or UPenn or Barnard or wherever else all the brainiacs in my high school went. Well, let's face it, even if I tried I probably wouldn't have been smart enough to get into any of those schools, but I can dream.

Still, part of me wants to go back to school because I think I'm mentally prepared to actually learn now. I've been listening to this podcast of a UC Berkeley philosophy course about The Brothers Karamazov, and it's actually pretty amazing to "take part" in a class where I've actually read the source material. For once I feel like I understand almost all of what the professor is talking about, which is totally novel for me. It makes me feel like school would've been a breeze if I actually did a bit more to prepare for any of my classes.

Of course, I say that, but I also have to remember that it's pretty easy to handle a college course when it's the only one you're taking. I mean, I've been reading this book for like a month now and I'm only on page 250, so I don't know how these kids read the whole thing in two weeks on top of all the other heavy shit you have to read for the class, like Kierkegaard and Nietzsche, in addition to the other five classes you're taking simultaneously. I was always in awe of English majors in school, because at any given moment you're reading like four books that could double as doorstops AND you have to understand them AND write papers about them. No thanks! That's why I went the loser route with a degree in communication. Although I did pay my dues with a minor in art history, which was pretty reading-intensive in itself, thankyouverymuch.

Anyway, I've had it in the back of my mind recently to go back to school for something, but I was thinking I might wait until I'm in my sixties and have made my fortune so I can do it Rodney Dangerfield style. Let's just hope I don't have some sort of curmudgeony dean that's determined to interfere with my plans for a raucous good time.

I think this weekend is ripe for some bike riding practice. I'm beginning to seriously feel like Pee Wee. Everywhere I look people are enjoying their bicycles, and dammit, I want to be one of them!

Reasons why having a bike would make my life better:

I'm having such guilt about driving to work every day, but I can't take the subway because I need to deal with Porter at some point during the day. If I could ride a bike though, I could leave him home every other day and just ride back to walk him at lunch. Or better yet, I could get a little rickshaw and tow him to work!

If I could ride, Greg and I could rent bikes in some sort of lovely scenic place, like France.

Driving a car with no AC in the summer sucks.

My fat ass needs some exercise, stat.

So after several conversations with friends in the past few days, I don't feel so dumb about my dread of a work-a-day lifestyle. It seems they feel the same way, and it's not just the standard, "Yeah, but oh well, you gotta do it." It's more of this sense of panic like, "Oh my God, seriously, there HAS to be a way out of this!" I just feel like my life is passing me by.

I think if I won the lottery, I would be extremely satisfied with just enough to keep Greg and I from working. We could keep living in our house, eating at the same local bars, shopping at Ikea, stick with no cable, and wear the same clothes. Anything to just have more time to spend doing meaningful things. Although a beach house would be awfully nice. Just a little one.

I think I'm nearing the 7-year itch with my job. Actually, I'm nearing the 7-year itch with work in general. I know it sounds completely silly, but the past few months I've really been dreading work. Not dreading my job, but dreading work in general. Dreading the idea of having to work for a living and having no time to enjoy life. That's not entirely true, I mean I have it much better than most as far as free time goes. I have a laid back husband, no kids, and a short commute, so what more could I ask for? I just sometimes feel like I'm more productive outside of work than I am sitting at my desk, or at least the things I do outside work feel more rewarding to me.

Here's a perfect example: We went down the shore yesterday for a get together with Greg's family. Despite the overcast and slightly chilly weather, it was lovely to sit around on the porch drinking Corona and taking in the salty air. We went for a walk on the beach, ate guacamole, mediated between the dogs, went to the boardwalk and just sat around doing nothing. Today we went to the beach and I just sat around all day reading. This afternoon as we loaded up our stuff, waved goodbye and drove away, I was embarrassingly sad. It doesn't help that they were all staying on for a few more days and were making plans for the boardwalk and bike rides (not that that would do *me* any good), and that I really love hanging out with Greg's family. It just sucks to have that never ending commitment that you have to get back to. Vacations are nice, but the office is still always hanging out in the back of my head, taunting me with that "you can run but you can't hide" attitude.

I would really love to work for one of those illustrious companies that have sabbatical options. Any short vacation I take is never quite enough to fully recharge me. The disconcerting thing is that they used to be. I remember the first few times I went away after I started my job, coming back to work was refreshing, like I was *almost* looking forward to getting back. I'm not sure, but at this point I think a month's sabbatical might be enough to reset my dread of work. Or maybe I should just be a teacher and get summers off. Of course then I couldn't afford our mortgage, AND I would be totally locked into only traveling during the hot, crowded summer months.

I feel so silly writing all this, because anyone reading it is probably like, "No shit Sherlock, nobody wants to work for a living, but you have to do it." And I would be the first person to agree to that. I just wish I had the wherewithal or creativity to do something that didn't require sitting at a desk five days a week. Then again, if I changed career paths to do something conducive to a more flexible schedule, I'd probably have to take a pay cut and then I wouldn't actually have any money to do anything in my free time. I guess I just need to start buying some lottery tickets.