short pants romance

http://shortpantsromance.wordpress.com

To be honest, I think this year I just wanted to skip the holidays and get onto the new year, so I can rethink things a bit and get to work making myself happy. I think part of that entails getting some smaller accomplishments out of the way. So let me start with my list from 43things.com.


1. reach my goal weight
2. be more creative
3. learn to ride a bicycle
4. learn to drive a manual
5. be more spontaneous
6. learn to sew
7. take more photographs
8. Have my own studio
9. Dress better
10. read one book per month
11. clean up my house and keep it clean
12. blog more
13. be a tourist in my own town
14. go to New York
15. Try new restaurants
16. go to more farmer's markets
17. Go to flea markets
18. take better care of my teeth
19. Go through my mail
20. stop procrastinating
21. have more friends
22. finish fixing up my house
23. have my parents visit more
24. Host a game night
25. decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life
26. cook more
27. sell something on etsy
28. make real friends that share my interests
29. stop worrying about what other people think of me
30. learn about my family history
31. train my dog
32. learn to speak french
33. live somewhere outside the Philadelphia area
34. find at least one thing each day that makes me happy and record it everyday for a year
35. learn to screenprint
36. actually do what's on my to-do list
37. investigate becoming a Quaker
38. wake up when my alarm clock goes off
39. have a tea party
40. make a gingerbread house
41. have everything ready early for Christmas next year
42. take public transportation more often
43. toughen myself against the cold

I've decided that since I have exactly 43 things on my list at this point, I'm going to maintain that number and only add new things to the list as I accomplish other things. So let's narrow down the things that are a little more simple and concrete that I can focus on checking off my list:

1. reach my goal weight
3. learn to ride a bicycle
4. learn to drive a manual
6. learn to sew
10. read one book per month
15. Try new restaurants
18. take better care of my teeth
19. Go through my mail
24. Host a game night
26. cook more
27. sell something on etsy
31. train my dog
36. actually do what's on my to-do list
38. wake up when my alarm clock goes off
39. have a tea party
42. take public transportation more often
43. toughen myself against the cold


Now let's take a few of these things and decide how I'm actually going to go about accomplishing them. I think part of my strategy should be to work on multi-tasking and accomplishing several goals with only a few actions.

1. reach my goal weight
This is a bit too daunting at the moment because after the holidays I'm pretty far from my goal. So for now I'm going to focus more on a few other goals that will in turn kick start this one.

3. learn to ride a bicycle
This is something that should be fairly easy, being that the past few times I went I *almost* had it, so it's really just going to take a bit more perseverance and a few more tries. This will in turn help with "reach my goal weight" as biking is great exercise.

4. learn to drive a manual
Ditto with this one, I think a few more tries and I'll have it down. Then poor Greg doesn't have to do all the driving on every road trip.

6. learn to sew
This is again something that I almost have down, although it's not really something you can check off definitively, as it's more a question of what skill level I'd like to reach. In general it's just something I want to practice on a regular basis. I have a bunch of sewing books at this point, so I really want to just sit down with one of them, pick projects and just do them without overthinking it.

10. read one book per month
I've already gotten into a good rhythm with this, I've been reading almost every night before bed and generally any time I have a few minutes here or there. It's actually become pretty addicting, to the point where I don't really want to watch any tv, I'd rather sit there with a book. I would say after about three or four months I'll consider this a success.

15. Try new restaurants
I think I need to just come up with a list of new places and start going once a month.

18. take better care of my teeth
For the past few weeks I've been in the habit of flossing almost every night, so I'm feeling pretty good about this. I'll consider this accomplished in a few more weeks, when it will have been a month since my dentist visit.

19. Go through my mail

24. Host a game night

26. cook more
My goal is to start making two new meals a week. I can't quite decide whether I think this will work for or against "reach my goal weight". I guess it depends on what I decide to cook. In general cooking diet food is not very appealing, but I guess I'll have to just give it a try.

27. sell something on etsy
I think this will work perfectly with "learn to sew." Part of the problem with sewing is that I only feel like I can do it when there's a particular thing that I need, because what's the point of making another apron or a set of cloth napkins when I already have so many of them? So what I really need to do is start sewing my heart out and selling the excess on Etsy.

31. train my dog
Porter's pretty good, he just really needs to learn how to come when I call him. I need to just sign him up for obedience training at PetSmart and be done with it.

36. actually do what's on my to-do list
I have a very low-tech method that I use at work that has been very effective. I just have a stupid little top-bound spiral memo pad that I write every to-do item down and cross it off when I'm done, it's like a never-ending list. I'm going to pick up another one and just keep it in my purse.

38. wake up when my alarm clock goes off
I don't know why but I've been having a particularly difficult time with this, probably because I hate my job these days and the last thing I want to do is get up in the morning. Maybe it's time to move the alarm clock to the other side of the room, away from my cozy bed.

39. have a tea party
I think this is something that I'll have to wait until spring for.

42. take public transportation more often
This one is going to be a fantastic multi-tasking endeavor. I've decided that on the days I don't bring Porter to work, I'm going to take the subway and walk from the station to my office, which is about a mile each way, all the while listening to an audiobook on my iPod. This will help out with three of my other goals - "reach my goal weight", "read a book a month" and "toughen myself against the cold."

43. toughen myself against the cold


Ok, so this is my plan to deal with the little things. Of course, none of this helps with the most daunting item on my whole list:

25. decide what the hell I would like to do with the rest of my life

I think this really needs to be the year that I address this question. I can't sit here languishing at this stupid job for another year, I need to ask some serious and difficult questions of myself, and face my fears and laziness once and for all. Because if I don't seriously do something about this very soon I'm going to really feel like I've wasted my life.

A copy of a suggestion that I just sent to the fine folks at GoodReads:

Hi there,

I have a silly suggestion, but one that I think a lot of people would appreciate. I know for me, finishing a book is a big deal. It's a momentous feeling to turn the last page of a book, close the back cover and spend a few minutes contemplating how that book has added to your consciousness, it's like finishing a relationship.

The problem with GoodReads is that once I finish a book, the GoodReads process doesn't do much to support this feeling. You have to go up and just move the book from your "currently reading" shelf to your "read" shelf. No pomp and circumstance in that at all. So my suggestion is that everyone's "currently reading" list should contain a big important-looking button that says, "FINISHED" or something equally triumphant. Then your friends could see an update that says something like, "Kate has finished reading The Brothers Karamazov and has given it four stars."
It's silly, I know, but I really love the idea of making it a little more official rather than just "Kate has moved The Brothers Karamazov to her 'read' shelf."

Thanks so much for taking the time to read this, I do love GoodReads, so keep up the good work!

Sincerely,
Kate L

Sorry about all the 43things.com posts, I seem to just find it easier to write entries from there rather than coming up with actual topics to blog about for real.

I think as usual this blog has become entirely too whiny. So I'm going to resolve that for every negative thing I vent about on this thing, I need to write about one positive and/or frivolous thing.

So here's the negative thing for today:

My entire family is driving me absolutely crazy and I'm starting to feel like I honestly want nothing to do with them, for various complicated and personal reasons that I won't go into here.

And the positive/frivolous thing:

There's nothing worse than having an old crappy car during the wintertime. I have an '87 Honda Accord and I've almost driven it into the ground at this point. It still runs pretty well, but it's definitely no frills. First of all, it's got remnants of dog barf all over because my driving skills seem to disagree with Porter's stomach. It takes like twenty minutes to heat up in the morning, which would be fine if I lived in a nice suburban house with a driveway where I could let it warm up while I sit inside drinking my coffee. But no, it needs me to sit there with it, freezing my ass off waiting for the power steering to start working again and the heater to start kicking out more than just cold air. Unfortunately, the biggest problem recently has become the fact that there's water getting in somewhere, which means the windows get completely fogged up and I have to give up the heater in favor of the defroster so that I have more than 3% visibility while I'm driving. My dad thinks it's a leak in the heating system. I think my theory is more plausible - that the bottom of the entire car is rusting away, letting all the rain water in, which then has nowhere to go. I swear one of these days the entire bottom is going to drop out and I'm going to have to drive to work Fred Flinstone-style.

So this morning when I came out to the car, the windows were all frosted up...INSIDE. Now that's a tricky one, clearing frost off the inside of your windows, without the handy use of windshield wipers.

Luckily we're refinancing our mortgage and we'll have an extra couple hundred bucks a month that will possibly go towards a car payment. Because until a pterodactyl can turn on the tv for me and a wooly mammoth washes the dishes, I refuse to drive like Fred Flinstone.

I've recently been bitten by the reading bug, which happens every few months, but all my good intentions go out the window very quickly and I wind up stalling. In 2008, I only read 4 books. How sad is that? My goal for 2009 is to read 12 books, one per month. That should definitely be doable. My plan is to be in bed every night by 10pm and read until 11pm, and maybe start reading in the cafeteria at lunch rather than the usual eating at my desk. If I can at least keep up a daily ritual, I should be able to reach this goal. The problem starts when I get out of the habit and wind up not picking up a book for several weeks at a time. Good habits are easy to break, I guess. I've even started making a book list to carry around so I don't have the usual blackout when I go to the used book store. Now I just need to finish the two I'm reading at the moment and then I'll have a fresh start.

Any good suggestions?

Yet another reason to move to Portland...

I sort of feel like I want to sit out Christmas this year. After a while it gets a little exhausting and incredibly discouraging trying to enjoy it when I seem to be surrounded by people who can't be bothered. Particularly, my family. In general I've had it with them, they're all so fucking crazy in their own different ways, and it becomes just a spiral of negativity and a generally icky situation because all everyone does is bitch about each other, myself included. For the past few years, we've gotten together at my brother's house on Christmas. This year, my other brother has a baby and my sister is staying in California, so it just leaves my parents and my other brother. Last year instead of buying everyone gifts, we did a secret santa with my family and it went really well, so I figured we could try to do it this year. No go. Everyone's too fucking busy in their own world that they can't seem to find the time in their oh-so-busy schedules to buy one $25 gift for one other person. My sister's response: "...and with this new job i'm just not up for the post office business. I'd rather just write a couple of charity checks and call it a day." Wow, she's just brimming with holiday spirit. My other brother was sort of like, "Whatever, I don't care."

After a while I'm sort of like, guess what folks, I'm just as fucking busy as any of you, and I actually probably go out shopping less. But still, I think I can find ten minutes to zip over to Target or hop on Amazon and order a DVD or something.

I know Christmas isn't supposed to be about the gifts. But I still enjoy giving people things, and I still enjoy opening nicely wrapped boxes. I don't even care what it is, it's just something nice to do with the people you love. But I feel like gradually, all the niceties of Christmas have just been squeezed out. My parents aren't putting up a tree, our annual tree trip was the most un-festive it's ever been, my whole family isn't getting together this year. Everyone just seems like they can't be bothered with the actual *enjoyment* of it. Decorating, putting up the tree, shopping for gifts...everyone seems to look at it as more items on their to-do list.

Too busy, everyone's just too busy. I thought the point of the holidays was to slow you down and make you recognize the people around you, and enjoy little things like trimming the tree, watching Charlie Brown, baking cookies, drinking cider. I guess I'm just too old-fashioned for my own good.

So I can't decide whether to just say "Fuck it, world! You've WON! I *do* give up on Christmas! " or to just pick myself up and decide that I'm going to enjoy it myself. The thing about Christmas though is that it's not the sort of thing that's easy to enjoy by yourself, because it's doing these things with other people that makes it special. And everyone else just doesn't seem to have the time or doesn't seem to care, so why should I?